According to Valtrex, 1 in 5 sexually active adults has genital herpes. It's statistics like these that make me count people during church.
(Bixby) from Missouri, the taint of America
5
If you could send male sexual reproductive organs through the US postal system, would it be considered… junk mail?
(Tj) from Earth That Was
7
Now I realize I should have been using all my birthday wishes on boobies not unicorns. What a waste.
Yayaa (Yaya) from between NYC and freaking jerse
3
“Zen and the Art of Prefixing Your Title With ‘Zen and the Art Of’”
(John Gruber) from Philadelphia
6
I don't know where my coffee ends and I begin.
(Lisa Ahé.) from Singapore
3
If we do go to war with the pigs, we'll need an awful lot of apple sauce.
(<= Iain) from Sydney, Australia
4
Rumor has it the code name for the CDC's new top secret vaccine they're working on is "Deliverance."
from Chicagoish
9
At this point I could kill someone and still go to Heaven. I've done my time already in carpet shopping purgatory.
(Aimee) from Wichita, Kansas. Seriously.
3
Just found out the hard way
that Turducken is not
supposed to include
turds OR duck semen.
Still...
it was better than Domino's.
(Josh Donoghue) from Connecticut
16
The only thing that sucks about these fruit flavored suppositories is that after a while, they start to taste like ass.
(Dr. Zaius) from The Forbidden Zone
12
1997: "Creativity is supposed to set something free. You act like you're putting a leash on a pit bull."
2009: Is crying for 12 years art?
(Geoff Barnes) from Pittsburgh, PA
7
REMINDER: SAN FRANCISCO TWEET-UP TONIGHT. 10pm. In my pants.
See you guys there!
(Jason Permenter) from San Francisco, CA
3
Few weeks ago I joked that my foot pain was gout. It was. So, these swine flu symptoms I have now? Allergies. ARE WE CLEAR, GOD? ALLERGIES.
(Essex Mortimer Dogg) from Charleston, SC
9
Walmart is out of cheap leftover creme eggs. Its a miscarriage of deliciousness.
(Luke MčCullum) from Vancouver. B.C.
4
See what happens, guys? Bacon is getting its revenge now.
(Erin) from Melbourne
6
It's gettin' garlicky in here / so chop up all your cloves!
(I'm so sorry - I can't help myself.)
from Las américas
8
Oh shit, did I just call 75% of my followers dumbasses? Trust me, *most* of you are in the other 25%.
(Todd Adamson) from Iowa City
4
I always thought it'd be elephants.
(<= Iain) from Sydney, Australia
8
Me? Oh Nothing. Just pouring a big bucket OMGWTFBBQ sauce over the things that used to be in Micheal Jackson's house.
(Shawna F) from Omaha
5
Why'd it have to be a tasty animal that wipes out the Human Race.
(<= Iain) from Sydney, Australia
6