Secret to a good marriage: Always be patient, and always let your wife be Naughty Nurse.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
10 hours, 14 minutes agoView original
21
Good news, boss! We had a backup of the lost data!
But then we lost it.
I'm joking! We never even made a backup in the first place!
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
1 day, 5 hours agoView original
22
Ironically, people who repeat that stupid "we use only 10% of our brain" myth are themselves the best evidence in favor of it.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
2 days, 9 hours agoView original
16
Hopefully, Michael Jackson spared us the onslaught of posthumous second-rate material by using it all up on 2001's Invincible.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
3 days, 6 hours agoView original
13
Looks like Clarice Starling picked the wrong week to switch to the FBI's Ponzi scheme division.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
3 days, 10 hours agoView original
6
Satan just bought a year's supply of fire and brimstone.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
4 days, 9 hours agoView original
9
Fact: Without xylophones, there would be no alphabet flash card industry.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
5 days, 1 hour agoView original
18
Still stuffed from lunch. Mr. De Mille, I'm ready for my gastric bypass.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
6 days, 7 hours agoView original
3
My little tribute to Michael Jackson: http://rafitorres.tumblr.com/post/130302844
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
6 days, 23 hours agoView original
2
Wacko Jacko heart attacko. #toosoon
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
1 week, 1 day agoView original
25
Based on the people I've seen going in, I'd say "members only" is exactly right.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
1 week, 1 day agoView original
13
If you only see one movie this summer about clueless guys with a hangover, then check out the writing team for Transformers 2.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
1 week, 3 days agoView original
18
The trouble with being in the Black Eyed Peas is that even if you hit Perez Hilton, you're still in the Black Eyed Peas.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
1 week, 4 days agoView original
29
Definition of inanity: saying the same pointless, shallow things over and over expecting people to respect you.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
6
*sigh* No sir, "time flies when you're having fun" is not a practical example of Einstein's theory of relativity.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
14
The great Greg Williams (@twipcomics) has illustrated 2 of my tweets!!! http://tr.im/rtcomic1 and http://tr.im/rtcomic2 This is awesome!
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
1
Mom I'd Like to Take Out to Dinner #nicermilftitles
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
2 weeks, 1 day agoView original
3
When the Network Security Consultant invoiced us, we learned what he really meant by "penetration test."
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
2 weeks, 1 day agoView original
16
Attempting to make homemade Turtle Wax for my car, but it's ridiculously hard. Two hours and I've only managed to jerk off one turtle.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
2 weeks, 2 days agoView original
27
Wife back from Costco. I think her feminine hygiene needs are covered until menopause.
rafitorres (Rafael Torres) from Puerto Rico
2 weeks, 3 days agoView original
40