I'm a little over halfway done with my book outline, but because Sarah Palin is such an awesome inspiration to women I think I'll quit now.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
3 hours, 21 minutes agoView original
26
(However, at said stampede, I did NOT obtain a $50 iBook, because I was too busy giving juice boxes to weary kids. I do mob behavior wrong.)
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
6 hours, 6 minutes agoView original
1
I was at the stampede @gruber referenced here: http://tr.im/qOY9 so I guess I can cheapen myself even further with a single #moonfruit toot.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
6 hours, 9 minutes agoView original
1
"Attorney General trains law enforcement in human trafficking." I think cops are corrupt enough. Do they really need such "how-to" training?
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
11 hours, 48 minutes agoView original
4
1. He gets mad when I recommend him, or others do in reference to me.
2. Been awhile since we had a good anger-fuck.
3. Follow @ThunderDolt.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
12 hours, 4 minutes agoView original
8
The amount of time I spend attempting to calculate how a normal person would behave in any given situation is itself abnormal.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
16 hours, 51 minutes agoView original
26
What do globs of henna coincidentally resemble? Piles of puppy poo! Okay, now guess what I just picked up off the floor with my bare hands.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 1 hour agoView original
15
The thing about having so many female estrangements is I can randomly say 'Sometimes, I miss her' and you won't know who. (Sometimes, I do.)
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 3 hours agoView original
5
I'm really not all that great at displays of false modesty.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 5 hours agoView original
16
If we ever decide to renew our vows, I'll ask @irreverend to marry us because "Please marry us!" can be interpreted a few different ways.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 6 hours agoView original
2
It's great we're still in love, but it's our flaws that thoroughly cement this marriage. No one else could possibly tolerate either of us.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 8 hours agoView original
27
I have showered. I believe I am owed some sort of humanitarian award.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 10 hours agoView original
19
(Previous tweet not intended to be funny, but rather, some indication of the peculiarities of my mammoth creative project. As you were.)
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 12 hours agoView original
1
"How goes the research?"
"Great!"
"Yeah? What have you turned up?"
"Today? Records concerning my ex-girlfriend's ex-stable sisters."
"..."
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 12 hours agoView original
5
Oh good, he has taken the medication that makes him talkative.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 14 hours agoView original
16
Right now it feels less like "writing creative nonfiction" & more like "assembling evidence for a mob trial with 3 generations of suspects."
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
1 day, 21 hours agoView original
10
There's some cognitive dissonance in seeing Box Tops for Education - once mostly on kids' cereal boxes - atop my container of Kotex tampons.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
15
FUCKYEAHALFRANKEN!
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
3 days, 8 hours agoView original
7
I avoid gynecologists except in pregnancy or ovarian rupture. Predict an earthquake, maybe then I'll go. OK OK, just remind me about cancer.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
3 days, 14 hours agoView original
4
Please understand that much of what I tweet is pure fiction. This tweet, for example.
vmarinelli (Victoria Marinelli) from Richmond, VA
3 days, 18 hours agoView original
19